We are almost two weeks away from the big day. The scheduled c-section. I have no reason to believe currently-baking-baby-#2 will arrive early so I’m planning on August 3rd and not a day before.
People always ask me if I’m nervous. About what?
About being cut open? Of course not! They do it all the time, it’s like having a tooth filled. Not nervous about that.
About having two babies under the age of 15th months? I’m asked that so much I’m starting to get nervous. So yes, if you’re one of those people who have so kindly told me how hard it’s going to be, are you happy? You’re making me nervous. But only if I think really hard about it.
About facing the unexpected? We faced the unexpected with John David so maybe there’s a part of me that feels nervous about that. That’s only when I allow it to show it’s ugly head. Most of the time I’m just excited that we won’t go through heartbreak and NICU visits. I have faith…. most of the time.
About falling in love with a second baby? Absolutely.
So I’m going to talk about that. About 7 years ago good friends of ours were welcoming their second baby into the world. The dad told us how he couldn’t imagine loving the second baby as much as he loves the first. Of course I thought he was crazy but that’s because I hadn’t had to face that little dilemma in life yet. He then told us after the baby was born that his heart doubled in size. Sounds like a good plan to me! A bigger heart. But truthfully I can’t imagine how you can love a second baby as much and that’s because I haven’t met him yet. Not really. I think of my mom, she has two babies and she loves my brother so very much, he was the second. I think of friends who have more than two and they show no more love for the first.
So am I nervous? Maybe that’s not the right word. I’m optimistic. I can’t wait to experience the heart doubling everyone talks about.
Now if we can just settle on a name….
