The Faces of Brennan

I could write a book about the last couple of months but I’ll spare you.  Instead let me share with a few of the many faces of Brennan.  The kid is hilarious!

Where did it all go?

It’s been two months and 9 days since Brennan entered our world and I have to say, I have no idea where it all went.  What have we done?  A whole lot of something but not much of anything except enjoying our little world.  The house is a mess except every other monday when the cleaners come.  Dinner isn’t cooked unless Ryan cooks or family is visiting for the weekend.  Diapers need to be changed and I’m convinced our family can be blamed for the overflow of landfills.  I’m tired but two days ago I discovered coffee.  We still laugh and we still play, we just do it while seriously needing a shower.  Laundry gets done….  eventually.  It’s one big beautiful mess and I actually love it!

People ask me if it’s hard.  Hard?  Raising twins is hard.  Raising a 16 month old and a 2 month old isn’t hard, it’s just busy.  When did we become a society that looks at raising kids as a chore?  Our parents and grandparents did it and they didn’t have Baby Einstein!  The pictures I have to post aren’t exciting because we just hang out in our little world. We go to lunch quite often with friends, John David still does therapy, Ryan and I go out and go to football games.  Everything is the same except it takes us a little longer to get there and we have to pack more stuff.

So here is our little world right now.  It’s fun.  I highly recommend it.

12 days old

We watch a lot of football.

John David watches us watch football.

Constant stare contest with these two.

Bath time

Someone is learning to crawl!

We visited Aunt Anna and Uncle Jarret for the weekend.

A Newborn Shoot

I’ve been dying to get a few pictures of Brennan with his eyes open.  Today he was wide awake and seemed to be in a good mood so we took a few minutes and photographed him.

Brennan Maxwell Tyson

My heart is overwhelmed with the feeling of being completely blessed and loved.  Suddenly I look at my family of four and I feel like we are a complete family and I’m so excited about the future I could just burst.

Before Brennan was born I worried how I could love another baby.  My love for John David couldn’t be duplicated and how could my heart share?  It’s amazing what the heart is capable of.  It can actually double in size!

We went into the hospital for our scheduled c-section at 5am on August 3rd.  By 5:30 we were in the room waiting for our turn in the operating room.  Ryan paced the floor and talked a million miles an hour about everything.  He was nervous and excited and it was obvious.  I laid in the bed listening to him talk and laughing at his jokes.  Finally at 8:00 they were ready to take me into the room and suddenly I got nervous.

The room where you the c-section takes place is a little intimidating to those of us not in the medical field but there wasn’t time to think about it.  Soon everything below my chest was numb and Ryan was standing over me…  it was go time!  After a few pulls and tugs we heard the sound we have been waiting to hear for 9 months!  Our beautiful baby boy was here to greet us and he wasn’t happy about it!  The first word out of the Doctor’s mouth were “Whoa! Where were you hiding this boy!” 9 pounds 1 ounce and 21 inches long.  At first glance all of my fears of complications and the unknown disappeared.  He was perfectly healthy!

Images courtesy of Mr. Ryan Tyson!

Everyone rushed over to him to clean him off and the next thing I knew Ryan was standing there next to me with our healthy baby boy.  He was beautiful!  To my surprise my genes kicked butt this time and he had my family’s features!

Because I had a c-section I had to wait until I was ready to go to recovery so Ryan and Brennan left the room and what seemed like an eternity away from them I was put back together.

The following pictures were taken over the course of that day and then our final day as we left the hospital.  Ryan did a fantastic job taking these for me knowing that I would miss it all.  I’m excited to talk about the first days at home with both our boys!

My very dear friend Inga Finch came to the hospital to shoot the before and after pictures of the delivery.  You can see her images by clicking here.

Check out his muscles in the next picture!

Ryan was excited about ringing the bell that plays music throughout the hospital when a baby is born.  Don’t we look excited!?!

Brennan has a pretty intense look and looks this way most of the time.

Going home!

Nerves

We are almost two weeks away from the big day.  The scheduled c-section.  I have no reason to believe currently-baking-baby-#2 will arrive early so I’m planning on August 3rd and not a day before.

People always ask me if I’m nervous.  About what?

About being cut open?  Of course not!  They do it all the time, it’s like having a tooth filled.  Not nervous about that.

About having two babies under the age of 15th months?  I’m asked that so much I’m starting to get nervous.  So yes, if you’re one of those people who have so kindly told me how hard it’s going to be, are you happy?  You’re making me nervous.  But only if I think really hard about it.

About facing the unexpected?  We faced the unexpected with John David so maybe there’s a part of me that feels nervous about that.  That’s only when I allow it to show it’s ugly head.  Most of the time I’m just excited that we won’t go through heartbreak and NICU visits.  I have faith….  most of the time.

About falling in love with a second baby?  Absolutely.

So I’m going to talk about that.  About 7 years ago good friends of ours were welcoming their second baby into the world.  The dad told us how he couldn’t imagine loving the second baby as much as he loves the first.  Of course I thought he was crazy but that’s because I hadn’t had to face that little dilemma in life yet.  He then told us after the baby was born that his heart doubled in size.  Sounds like a good plan to me!  A bigger heart.  But truthfully I can’t imagine how you can love a second baby as much and that’s because I haven’t met him yet.  Not really.  I think of my mom, she has two babies and she loves my brother so very much, he was the second.  I think of friends who have more than two and they show no more love for the first.

So am I nervous?  Maybe that’s not the right word.  I’m optimistic.  I can’t wait to experience the heart doubling everyone talks about.

Now if we can just settle on a name….

Life’s Battle Scars

Tonight as I rocked John David to sleep after his final bottle it really hit me that he’s growing up.  He isn’t the baby he was even a few months ago.  In his face I see traces of a little boy.  Deep inside this makes me sad because he’s growing up but mostly I’m excited and optimistic.

I’m in the final 3 weeks of my pregnancy.  I wish I could say that the glow is still here but it’s not.  I feel big and I feel uncomfortable.  But when I step back and the day is over and I’m rocking my little boy, I realize I have so much to be thankful for.  In my short 31 years on this earth I’ve been handed some tough blows….  but who hasn’t?  I’m not the first person to lose a parent at a young age.  I’m not the first person to be told that my newborn baby has a chromosome “issue”.  Overall my life is so blessed and tonight I’m upset with myself that I don’t remember that when I feel short of breath and exhausted beyond belief.

Life is about celebration and it’s about mourning.  I’ve always embraced the celebrations in life.  I enjoy the friends and family who are in our life and I cannot get enough of a great time.  But I realize, in the tough times, when I’m exhausted, overworked and having a hard time remembering the celebrations, in those times I’m shaped into being the person I want to become…. and far from the person I am today.  Into the person I’m supposed to be.  Into the person my kids and my husband need me to be.  In those tough times I am being shaped into the person who can handle the hard blows of life just a little more than I did before.

So when I step back and I look at my life I realize I am blessed beyond words.  I’m blessed beyond imagination.  Tonight I’m thankful for the people who help me remember that everyday and the people who have been shaped by life’s tough blows.  They have the battle scars but in their eyes a light shines.  They’ve faced cancer, death, injury, loss, heartache, disappointment….  that’s life but that’s what, in the end, makes life beautiful.

So tonight I’m optimistic.  I’m excited about the little 19 pounder sleeping in his crib and I’m looking forward to officially meeting the little 6.5 pounder punching my bladder.  I won’t always do it the way I’m supposed to but if they can look back at life and if they can say anything about me I hope they say, she handled adversity with faith and hope.

This little guy deserves it….

iphone images

It’s been a while since I’ve posted iphone images.  Below are some favorites from the last few months.

 

 

sunday nap with daddy

Family birthday party

He loves Target!!

First jeep ride.  He laughed the entire time!

When mom is away, Daddy does his hair.

 

 

 

Happy Birthday Buddy!

John David,

A year has passed since you entered our lives.  You’ve brought so much joy and life into our world I can’t imagine what it was like without you.  In the last few months your personality has come alive…  not that it wasn’t before.  You have very strong opinions and you aren’t afraid to voice them.  Let’s pretend you get that from your daddy only.  The first thing everyone notices about you is how social you are.  You would rather be with people than anything else.  You love to watch people you don’t know very well with careful eyes and those who you know well you love to talk to. You love eye contact!  It doesn’t take much to make you smile and laugh.

Two months ago you were able to sit with no assistance.  Now you can sit up for a long time with no problem at all.  You are SO close to getting into the sitting position and i just know that any day you will and, like everything else, you won’t look back.

You have some really funny things that you do that always make us laugh.  You never go to sleep without a good fight.  You make lots of noises until you finally “give up the fight” and fall asleep.  You love to scratch different surfaces.  You always check out something new by feeling it and scratching it with your nail.  You do this because you are very curious.  If we clap and cheer for you, you wave.  I think this started when we used to cheer for you after you wave.  Now if we start by cheering you wave.  It is most definitely the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

You definitely love me but your daddy lights up your world.  The two of you play together and you have to be the loudest two people when you are together.  I love to listen to you!

You are full of life and curiosity.  You’re such a 1 year old.  I can’t believe we are already at 1 year but I’m so excited to see my sweet little baby boy who is full of curiosity and wonder grow into a booming toddler and then little boy.

In less than 2 months we will be welcoming your baby brother.  We’re so excited to see what life has to offer the two of you together.  I hope you grow up to be best friends and you support each other while being independent strong men.

My prayer for you every single day is that you are blessed with every gift God has for you but more than anything you are blessed with one main gift.  I pray this is something you discover at a young age.

You have brought us a new life and a new heart.  Thank you for being everything that you are.  We love you so much!

One year ago today…

It was time.  I knew even though I was a month away from the big due date, he was coming.  It was going to happen and happen very soon.  Ignoring these feelings I still approved a fishing trip for Ryan which would include an overnight stay at his friend’s house on an island only accessible by boat.  I’m sure deep inside I felt this would prolong the inevitable.  Yet, I just knew.

Around 6pm all of the signs were slapping me in the face yet I continued to tell Ryan to enjoy his fishing trip and his rum and coke(s).  By 8pm it was time to call in the troops!  I was going to have a baby soon.  Inga, my dear friend, came over to help me count the contractions and determined I was in very very early labor.  Early labor, but still labor.

By 10pm my mom had arrived and my husband, fresh off the water.  We sat and continued to wait and count the contractions.  I went to bed to wait until we were further along.  By 2am it was time to go to the hospital.  My little man was coming that morning!

We left the house excited and looking forward to returning in just two short days with our new addition.  We knew he was early but we were convinced he would be fine and ready to come home.  We were excited.  I looked at the house as we left and I said to myself, in a few days three people will be living there, not two.  In a few days that room on the corner will be occupied.

I look back and I realize I didn’t know him.  I thought I did.  John David being my first I had no idea I was in love with an idea of a baby but the reality of this gift is so much more of a powerful thing than the dream.  I pictured him and everything I pictured was wrong.  Wrong hair color, wrong eye color, wrong size… Wrong number of chromosomes.

I felt his kicks and I felt his movements but it wasn’t until I saw him that he became my reality.  It’s at that moment that you are faced with a deep love that you won’t understand until a life is placed in your hands.

That night I felt excitement knowing that in only a few hours I would meet my baby.  I didn’t realize I would also be faced with a life changing experience that has shaped and re-shaped the core of my beliefs.  Looking back now I know I felt a pain I have never experienced in my life.  A pain that took away my ability to breathe with ease and a pain that left my heart aching.  My dreams were shattered.  I was selfish and I was prideful.  When I finally let go I began to see a shift from pain to joy and a eagerness to face the challenge.  An eagerness to believe in someone who deserved nothing less from me.

My baby.

Perfect in every single way.

Saltwater flows in his veins.

The Florida Keys is a very special place to me.  While it attracts hundreds of thousands of tourists a year there is a time in my family history where it was known as nothing more than home.  Many many decades before I was born my family settled in Key West from Cuba.  This took place in the days alligators outnumbered people in Florida and bridges didn’t connect the islands that make up the Florida Keys.

In 1971 my mom married my dad.  My dad grew up on an island on the west coast of florida.  A fisherman’s paradise.  Of course, he quickly took to the keys and brought his knowledge of the water to his guide business in the keys.  The other guides in the keys quickly grew to respect his intense and dedicated style of fishing which wasn’t laid back as what you see on TV but this style and knowledge did one thing very well…  He caught fish and he caught a lot of them.

Bringing John David to the Keys for the first time is another experience that means a lot to us and probably not as much to him being so young.  Yet yesterday he was able to taste the salt water that runs in his blood and feel the warm tropical breeze.

Below is the an image of my mom holding John David on Islamorada, FL.